Howdy! It's a 80 degree day here in the Lou and I get my little man tonight for the next 3 days and I'm happy about that. I have a small fill tomorrow, so I will be on liquids tomorrow and depending on the fill, possibly Friday.
My mom and I are hosting Easter at our place this year. Ham, cheesy potatoes, green bean casserole, dumplings, veggie tray, chips and dip, pies and cakes. I am VERY happy that I'm getting a fill tomorrow so I can be in control, especially around all the damn chocolate and jelly beans that will be floating around.
Im going to post some before and current pics either tonight or tomorrow. Should be interesting.
Have a great evening. Love yas!
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Monday, March 29, 2010
I lost it....
Restriction that is. It's crazy to me how .75cc's can make such a DRASTIC difference in my weight and quantity of food. Wowsa! I have a small fill this thursday morning at 8am. I hope it helps some because if it isn't nailed down, it's in my mouth, down my throat and on my tummy roll before I know what it was I put in there in the first place. Shit guys, you have no idea.
I've always been a emotional eater. Happy, sad, angry, stressed etc. We have ALL been there at some point or another and anyone that says they haven't are seriously delusional. LMAO
Obviously I have a lot going on these days. The seperation, the new place to live, new people in my life, old people out of my life, my son, work, good weather, free time. All of these things I am LETTING effect me and how I am eating. I haven't watched a calorie in God knows how long. Well that stops today.
My work is doing the Biggest Loser competition again. We did it the first 2 months of the year and out of 30 people I came in 5th. Not too shabby I say. More people were expecting me to shoot to the top of the list because of my band. Well I showed them that someone with a band can gain or even have a small loss and that I have to work as hard as any of them do even though I have a "cheat" as someone called it once. Well screw them. Im human and got to 316 lbs at my highest weight because of lack of one thing...SELF CONTROL. I'm slowly getting it back and with help of my biggest supporter and BFF Elisha, we are going to do this together at work. Every...stinkin...day. We are going to walk on our lunch break and not order out lunch and of course get in our water. I'm tired of not changing sizes, of feeling like a fatty again because I've let myself gain 5 lbs in the last 3 weeks by just being plain lazy.
And that's all I have to say about that! :-P I'm at 270 today. A 3 lb gain from last week, and I got back to 270 which once I hit 269 I "said" I wouldn't ever see again. I'm not a liar, I just let myself slip...so sue me! :-p
Here is to a new start, a bright and sunny Monday.
I love you my supporters. Without you I'd just be another crazy bitch talking to myself......just picturing that makes me giggle.
HUGS!!
I've always been a emotional eater. Happy, sad, angry, stressed etc. We have ALL been there at some point or another and anyone that says they haven't are seriously delusional. LMAO
Obviously I have a lot going on these days. The seperation, the new place to live, new people in my life, old people out of my life, my son, work, good weather, free time. All of these things I am LETTING effect me and how I am eating. I haven't watched a calorie in God knows how long. Well that stops today.
My work is doing the Biggest Loser competition again. We did it the first 2 months of the year and out of 30 people I came in 5th. Not too shabby I say. More people were expecting me to shoot to the top of the list because of my band. Well I showed them that someone with a band can gain or even have a small loss and that I have to work as hard as any of them do even though I have a "cheat" as someone called it once. Well screw them. Im human and got to 316 lbs at my highest weight because of lack of one thing...SELF CONTROL. I'm slowly getting it back and with help of my biggest supporter and BFF Elisha, we are going to do this together at work. Every...stinkin...day. We are going to walk on our lunch break and not order out lunch and of course get in our water. I'm tired of not changing sizes, of feeling like a fatty again because I've let myself gain 5 lbs in the last 3 weeks by just being plain lazy.
And that's all I have to say about that! :-P I'm at 270 today. A 3 lb gain from last week, and I got back to 270 which once I hit 269 I "said" I wouldn't ever see again. I'm not a liar, I just let myself slip...so sue me! :-p
Here is to a new start, a bright and sunny Monday.
I love you my supporters. Without you I'd just be another crazy bitch talking to myself......just picturing that makes me giggle.
HUGS!!
Friday, March 26, 2010
Friday Funnies
Hiya! It's a sunny PAYDAY Friday here in the STL and I'm doing good. Work is work, bills are bills and my weight is the same. Now on to more interesting things.
I got this in a email yesterday and I laughed my ass off and sent it to everyone I knew. So steal this mo-fo and share it, let women everywhere laugh like I did.
THE MOOD RING
I got this in a email yesterday and I laughed my ass off and sent it to everyone I knew. So steal this mo-fo and share it, let women everywhere laugh like I did.
THE MOOD RING
My husband, being unhappy with my mood swings,
bought me a mood ring the other day so he would
be able to monitor my moods.
We've discovered that when I'm in a good mood it turns Green.
When I'm in a bad mood, it leaves a BIG red mark on his FUCKING forehead.
Maybe next time he'll buy me a diamond.
LMAO!
I want to give a shout out and a thank you to Drazil for my Ho-Bag award. Thanks bunches!
Have a great weekend. Love ya's!
Monday, March 22, 2010
Where have I been?
Busy. Tired. Busy. Tired.....and rinse and repeat!
I had no loss or gain this week. I didn't get a fill last thursday but I need one. It's almost like once they unfill you, they are scared to put any back in. Well damnit, I need some fricken restriction. LOL I'm going to call today and see if I can get in next week.
So it's 9am here in STL and I've already spent $60. How you ask? Because they are having a damned book fair in the cafeteria and they always have great cookbooks and kids books. At least they have payroll deduction. Heehee
Here is my food for today, then I gotta run.
B-Coffee, 2 bites of sausage biscuit
S-coffee
L-pulled pork and a little taco dip
S-cookie
D-salmon and salad
Love you's! Oh....wait...........I'm in need. I need size 22 jeans or work slacks that are not petite. Anyone?
I had no loss or gain this week. I didn't get a fill last thursday but I need one. It's almost like once they unfill you, they are scared to put any back in. Well damnit, I need some fricken restriction. LOL I'm going to call today and see if I can get in next week.
So it's 9am here in STL and I've already spent $60. How you ask? Because they are having a damned book fair in the cafeteria and they always have great cookbooks and kids books. At least they have payroll deduction. Heehee
Here is my food for today, then I gotta run.
B-Coffee, 2 bites of sausage biscuit
S-coffee
L-pulled pork and a little taco dip
S-cookie
D-salmon and salad
Love you's! Oh....wait...........I'm in need. I need size 22 jeans or work slacks that are not petite. Anyone?
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Somewhere over the rainbow....
Bluebirds fly and every one of them is shitting on me right now. LMAO!!!!
I wanted to pop in for a quick update while I'm thinking about it.
Remember 2 weeks ago when I was so tight at 9cc's that I couldnt even keep liquids down? Well fast forward 2 weeks and I can eat anything I want (other than bread still) and almost as much as I want. So I called my dr today and set up a tiny smidge of a fill for this thursday. The nurse said he will just go in .25 cc increments until I want to stop. Who knows? Maybe 9cc's isnt too full for me, maybe it was the jump from 7.5 to 9 that set off the reaction I had. Hmmmmm...
I had a two pound gain this week after being down from the overfill. I'll take it because I've been eating everything in sight (between PMS, stress and unfill I was starvin) and that stopped today. I've started measuring out my portions and started walking again.
Here is my food for today then I gotta get back to work. I love you all, thanks for your support. I'll be back :-)
B-coffee
S-string cheese
L-small salad and turkey/cheese rollup
S-almonds and a handful popcorn
D-baked fish and steamed broccoli
S-milk and 2 thin mints
I wanted to pop in for a quick update while I'm thinking about it.
Remember 2 weeks ago when I was so tight at 9cc's that I couldnt even keep liquids down? Well fast forward 2 weeks and I can eat anything I want (other than bread still) and almost as much as I want. So I called my dr today and set up a tiny smidge of a fill for this thursday. The nurse said he will just go in .25 cc increments until I want to stop. Who knows? Maybe 9cc's isnt too full for me, maybe it was the jump from 7.5 to 9 that set off the reaction I had. Hmmmmm...
I had a two pound gain this week after being down from the overfill. I'll take it because I've been eating everything in sight (between PMS, stress and unfill I was starvin) and that stopped today. I've started measuring out my portions and started walking again.
Here is my food for today then I gotta get back to work. I love you all, thanks for your support. I'll be back :-)
B-coffee
S-string cheese
L-small salad and turkey/cheese rollup
S-almonds and a handful popcorn
D-baked fish and steamed broccoli
S-milk and 2 thin mints
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
My personal life
Hello my lovely blog followers. It's a dreary, drizzly, dark Tuesday here in St. Louis and I'm in a kinda crabby/headache mood and instead of focusing on work, I've been thinking about all the questions I've been getting from people (IRL, not on here) about my personal life and what's been going on with me and the husband.
Now here is my mini vent. It's no ones damned business unless I want it to be. There are a few people (my mom, my sister, my BFF) that know everything about both sides etc, but for the most part people get the short SHORT version which is "It didn't work out and I live at my moms now" which is usually enough, but not lately. People want more details and frankly, I'm not giving any and probably seem like a bitch. But you know what? It was my marriage, and it's my life now that I'm dealing with (well if i do say so myself) and I'm sure as hell not going to go blabbing to everyone about what's happening or not happening with my marriage and my personal life now that I don't life with him anymore.
Before a few months ago I would have posted how things were going on here, but not anymore my friends. At least not yet. Not only does the husband read this, his friends do too and one of them actually gives the others heads up when I post something they might think is interesting, and THAT is the reason why no one has a in depth update on my personal life.
Here is what I'm giving for now.
~We are being civil for our sons sake.
~The custody arrangement we have seems to be working fantastic for all 3 of us involved.
~Our son is adjusting well with minimal effects that we can see, which is awesome.
I'm done venting for now. I'm sure there will be a day where you all will be up to date on my non weight related personal doings, but for now I'm going to be discreet and I'm sure you all can understand why. I would hate for something I said, or insinuated, to be used against me in any court or anything, so zipped up is what I'm gonna be.
I love you all, your support has meant the world to me and if I can share something without retribution in my real life, then I will....I promise.
HUGS
Now here is my mini vent. It's no ones damned business unless I want it to be. There are a few people (my mom, my sister, my BFF) that know everything about both sides etc, but for the most part people get the short SHORT version which is "It didn't work out and I live at my moms now" which is usually enough, but not lately. People want more details and frankly, I'm not giving any and probably seem like a bitch. But you know what? It was my marriage, and it's my life now that I'm dealing with (well if i do say so myself) and I'm sure as hell not going to go blabbing to everyone about what's happening or not happening with my marriage and my personal life now that I don't life with him anymore.
Before a few months ago I would have posted how things were going on here, but not anymore my friends. At least not yet. Not only does the husband read this, his friends do too and one of them actually gives the others heads up when I post something they might think is interesting, and THAT is the reason why no one has a in depth update on my personal life.
Here is what I'm giving for now.
~We are being civil for our sons sake.
~The custody arrangement we have seems to be working fantastic for all 3 of us involved.
~Our son is adjusting well with minimal effects that we can see, which is awesome.
I'm done venting for now. I'm sure there will be a day where you all will be up to date on my non weight related personal doings, but for now I'm going to be discreet and I'm sure you all can understand why. I would hate for something I said, or insinuated, to be used against me in any court or anything, so zipped up is what I'm gonna be.
I love you all, your support has meant the world to me and if I can share something without retribution in my real life, then I will....I promise.
HUGS
Monday, March 8, 2010
New TATTOO and a weigh in...
HAPPY MONDAY! I'm in a great mood today as I had a TERRIFIC weekend :)
Friday night I took my little man with some friends to a fish fry and it felt AMAZING to be able to eat some after being so tight in my band for over a week. I had one filet of fried cod and a bite of chocolate cake (my indulgance for the weekend, lol).
Saturday my sister came over with her kids and we had a bbq since it was pushing 60 degrees here in the Lou. Saturday night I went to a friends house to hang out which was fun. Sunday was the kicker. My BFF texted me and said "Lets go get the foot tattoos we have wanted for over a year now". Um.......SURE!
Here is the picture. I'm the foot on the top covered with the plastic. It is a bass cleft and a treble cleft making a heart shape and the words are "La tua Cantante" which means "The Singer" in Italian. We both were music majors so it makes PERFECT sense, and yes we did get the same tattoo on the same foot. It burned liked the pits of hell, but today it is better and I'm so glad we did it. Here it is......
Weigh in results- I gained 1 pound. I'm not shocked at all really since my slight unfill thursday I've been eating like I was starved for a week. Because lets face it....I was frickin starved for a damn week. So I'm at 269...big deal?!?! Nope, I'm not trippin on it at all. I'm wearing some beautiful "sisterhood" clothes today to work in a size 22 and feel beautiful. I really need to get back into the habit of taking pictures in my clothes. Maybe if I remember I will have my mom take one tonight before I change into my sweats.
Ok everyone, its time for me to.....GASP.......work! LOL Have a great day, I love you and I'll be back tomorrow! XOXOXOX
P.S Food for today
B-bacon and cheese quiche
S-coffee
L-grilled chicken breast on top small salad
S-banana
D-baked turkey breast, mashed potatoes
Friday night I took my little man with some friends to a fish fry and it felt AMAZING to be able to eat some after being so tight in my band for over a week. I had one filet of fried cod and a bite of chocolate cake (my indulgance for the weekend, lol).
Saturday my sister came over with her kids and we had a bbq since it was pushing 60 degrees here in the Lou. Saturday night I went to a friends house to hang out which was fun. Sunday was the kicker. My BFF texted me and said "Lets go get the foot tattoos we have wanted for over a year now". Um.......SURE!
Here is the picture. I'm the foot on the top covered with the plastic. It is a bass cleft and a treble cleft making a heart shape and the words are "La tua Cantante" which means "The Singer" in Italian. We both were music majors so it makes PERFECT sense, and yes we did get the same tattoo on the same foot. It burned liked the pits of hell, but today it is better and I'm so glad we did it. Here it is......
Weigh in results- I gained 1 pound. I'm not shocked at all really since my slight unfill thursday I've been eating like I was starved for a week. Because lets face it....I was frickin starved for a damn week. So I'm at 269...big deal?!?! Nope, I'm not trippin on it at all. I'm wearing some beautiful "sisterhood" clothes today to work in a size 22 and feel beautiful. I really need to get back into the habit of taking pictures in my clothes. Maybe if I remember I will have my mom take one tonight before I change into my sweats.
Ok everyone, its time for me to.....GASP.......work! LOL Have a great day, I love you and I'll be back tomorrow! XOXOXOX
P.S Food for today
B-bacon and cheese quiche
S-coffee
L-grilled chicken breast on top small salad
S-banana
D-baked turkey breast, mashed potatoes
Friday, March 5, 2010
Update on my unfill...
Happy FRIDAY!!! TGIF!
It's supposed to be almost 60 degrees here this weekend and do you know what that means? BBQ's baby. I love BBQ season and since I need protein they love me. I'm making balsalmic marinated chicken breasts for one and burgers stuffed with cheese for the other. Yum!
I got a small unfill yesterday and it has made SOOOOOOO much difference. The dr took out .75 of the 1.5 he put in, so I'm at 8.25 cc's and I can eat again! Woohoo! I havent thrown anything up since my visit and it's great. I was soooooo hungry last night from not eating in a week. I had some spaghetti (like 3 bites), a few girlscout cookies, come potato chips and a huge glass of milk. Not the healthiest choices, but come on, I hadn't eaten in a week so it wont put all the weight back on that I lost, right? :P
Here is my food for today...
B-Coffee w/ FF french vanilla creamer
S- LF string cheese
L- tuna pouch, mini cup of mac n cheese
S-popcorn
D- fish fry fish (no sides so i can eat more fish)
I hope everyone has a GREAT weekend and I'll post again soon.
Love ya's!
It's supposed to be almost 60 degrees here this weekend and do you know what that means? BBQ's baby. I love BBQ season and since I need protein they love me. I'm making balsalmic marinated chicken breasts for one and burgers stuffed with cheese for the other. Yum!
I got a small unfill yesterday and it has made SOOOOOOO much difference. The dr took out .75 of the 1.5 he put in, so I'm at 8.25 cc's and I can eat again! Woohoo! I havent thrown anything up since my visit and it's great. I was soooooo hungry last night from not eating in a week. I had some spaghetti (like 3 bites), a few girlscout cookies, come potato chips and a huge glass of milk. Not the healthiest choices, but come on, I hadn't eaten in a week so it wont put all the weight back on that I lost, right? :P
Here is my food for today...
B-Coffee w/ FF french vanilla creamer
S- LF string cheese
L- tuna pouch, mini cup of mac n cheese
S-popcorn
D- fish fry fish (no sides so i can eat more fish)
I hope everyone has a GREAT weekend and I'll post again soon.
Love ya's!
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
FANFUCKINTASTIC
That is how I feel right now. I just walked 2 MILES on my lunch break today. My blood is pumping and im sweaty, but damnit if I don't feel energized and great. My plan is to do this at least 3 days a week here.
WOOHOO!!!!!!!
WOOHOO!!!!!!!
Unfill scheduled
Hello all. I'm popping in to update on how yesterday went. Terrible is a word I would use to describe it. I'm not even keeping water down, only warm liquids like coffee and tea. I felt brave (prolly because I feel like im starving!) and had two bites of very liquidy mashed pots and they came up full force.
I called my surgeons office and the nurse scheduled me to come in tomorrow for a small unfill and I'm on coffee, hot tea and hot broth until friday. I'm trying to keep my spirits up, but its kinda hard when i'm so damn tired from not having any sustenance, it doesn't help either that its that time of the month so I'm drained of iron too. Boooo!
I never thought I'd get to the point of needing a unfill because it took me so long to get to any restriction, but my surgeon was right. You never know when youre gonna hit your sweet spot and we just overshot mine a little.
That's all I got today. It's supposed to be in the high 50's this weekend so we are planning a family BBQ which I always love. My family brings up my spirits for sure. OH! I also get my son tonight till saturday and cant wait to see my little love.
Have a great day ladies and gents. MUWAH! :*
I called my surgeons office and the nurse scheduled me to come in tomorrow for a small unfill and I'm on coffee, hot tea and hot broth until friday. I'm trying to keep my spirits up, but its kinda hard when i'm so damn tired from not having any sustenance, it doesn't help either that its that time of the month so I'm drained of iron too. Boooo!
I never thought I'd get to the point of needing a unfill because it took me so long to get to any restriction, but my surgeon was right. You never know when youre gonna hit your sweet spot and we just overshot mine a little.
That's all I got today. It's supposed to be in the high 50's this weekend so we are planning a family BBQ which I always love. My family brings up my spirits for sure. OH! I also get my son tonight till saturday and cant wait to see my little love.
Have a great day ladies and gents. MUWAH! :*
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Fly by posting
Just a quick update on my eating.
Last night I got a wild hair and thought I felt better and got chinese with my mom. I had 2 small bites of rice and PB'd, tried two sips of hot n sour soup and PB'd, took one lick of the inside of the crab rangoon and PB'd.
After a hour of sliming over the kitchen sink I needed something in my stomach so I got out the ice cream. Its thick, cold and soothing. I ate HALF A CARTON of damn ice cream. It stayed down and tasted
fan-frickin-tastic. I was constipated this morning from all the dairy but hey, I needed sustinance.
Today I have this...
B-coffee (kept down)
S- string cheese chewed to mush (kept down so far)
L-wild mushroom soup
S-cup of peaches
D- salmon, mashed pots
S- chocolate milk
It's funny to me that the menu above resembles my mushies menu from forever ago. LOL
If I can't keep anything solid down by Friday I'm going to have to call for a small unfill. I REALLY REALLY don't wanna do that, but I'm really tired from no nutrition. Thank god for vitamins.
Last night I got a wild hair and thought I felt better and got chinese with my mom. I had 2 small bites of rice and PB'd, tried two sips of hot n sour soup and PB'd, took one lick of the inside of the crab rangoon and PB'd.
After a hour of sliming over the kitchen sink I needed something in my stomach so I got out the ice cream. Its thick, cold and soothing. I ate HALF A CARTON of damn ice cream. It stayed down and tasted
fan-frickin-tastic. I was constipated this morning from all the dairy but hey, I needed sustinance.
Today I have this...
B-coffee (kept down)
S- string cheese chewed to mush (kept down so far)
L-wild mushroom soup
S-cup of peaches
D- salmon, mashed pots
S- chocolate milk
It's funny to me that the menu above resembles my mushies menu from forever ago. LOL
If I can't keep anything solid down by Friday I'm going to have to call for a small unfill. I REALLY REALLY don't wanna do that, but I'm really tired from no nutrition. Thank god for vitamins.
Monday, March 1, 2010
It is a B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L morning....
Hello and HAPPY MONDAY! I'm smiling so big that my face might split in half. LOL
I weighed this morning and was at 268!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My plateau has been broken and I have gotten out of the 270's FINALLY! I was jumping up and down on the scale this morning. That means I had a 5 pound loss again this week.
I had 3 BIG NSV's this weekend that I want to share with you all.
1) I put on a pair of 22's, stretch boot cut jeans that run really slim in the leg. They went on, zipped, buttoned and made my ass look great. I ran squealing down the hall to show my mom. I sure as hell wore those bad boys out saturday night with some kitten heels,I felt fantastic. I'll have pics tomorrow.
2) I'm at the size and weight I was when I got married almost 7 years ago. This is the first time in 7 years. It feels amazing.
3) I got my hair cut again (more shaped than cut) and got so many "hottie" compliments saturday night that my head started to swell. LOL. It looks sassy and fun, which is how I feel.
I'm kinda floating today. I slept great, look good and mentally this whole losing thing does wonders for my self esteem. I wore a full outfit saturday night that was "Sisterhooded" to me, so thank you AMY, MELISSA AND HEATHER. I'll post pics tomorrow.
Between these mental highs and the coffee I'm sucking down, I'm a bundle of energy today. Too bad I'm not home cleaning right? LOL
Let's talk food before I sign off to actually do the work I get paid to do here.
I'm keeping food down, but in VERY small quantities. Like 2 bites of salmon and a bite or two of mashed pots. This is what I had yesterday and then my food for today.
Sunday
Coffee
string cheese
2 crackers (pb'd)
2 bites chicken-grilled
2 bites mashed potato
milk
Monday-Today
B-coffee
L-String cheese, chicken salad (praying i dont pb)
S-FF tapioca pudding
D-turkey/cheese rollup
S-chocolate milk
I love you all and will be back tomorrow.
HUGS!
I weighed this morning and was at 268!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My plateau has been broken and I have gotten out of the 270's FINALLY! I was jumping up and down on the scale this morning. That means I had a 5 pound loss again this week.
I had 3 BIG NSV's this weekend that I want to share with you all.
1) I put on a pair of 22's, stretch boot cut jeans that run really slim in the leg. They went on, zipped, buttoned and made my ass look great. I ran squealing down the hall to show my mom. I sure as hell wore those bad boys out saturday night with some kitten heels,I felt fantastic. I'll have pics tomorrow.
2) I'm at the size and weight I was when I got married almost 7 years ago. This is the first time in 7 years. It feels amazing.
3) I got my hair cut again (more shaped than cut) and got so many "hottie" compliments saturday night that my head started to swell. LOL. It looks sassy and fun, which is how I feel.
I'm kinda floating today. I slept great, look good and mentally this whole losing thing does wonders for my self esteem. I wore a full outfit saturday night that was "Sisterhooded" to me, so thank you AMY, MELISSA AND HEATHER. I'll post pics tomorrow.
Between these mental highs and the coffee I'm sucking down, I'm a bundle of energy today. Too bad I'm not home cleaning right? LOL
Let's talk food before I sign off to actually do the work I get paid to do here.
I'm keeping food down, but in VERY small quantities. Like 2 bites of salmon and a bite or two of mashed pots. This is what I had yesterday and then my food for today.
Sunday
Coffee
string cheese
2 crackers (pb'd)
2 bites chicken-grilled
2 bites mashed potato
milk
Monday-Today
B-coffee
L-String cheese, chicken salad (praying i dont pb)
S-FF tapioca pudding
D-turkey/cheese rollup
S-chocolate milk
I love you all and will be back tomorrow.
HUGS!
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