Friday, February 26, 2010

5th Fill update

Happy Friday! I just got to work at noon today because my BFF and I went to a kick ass concert a few hours away and didn't get home until the wee hours of the morning, so I took a half day off work and slept in. Ahhhh!!

So I had my 5th fill yesterday and YOWSA! I had 7.5 cc's and now I have 9. I got a 1.5 cc fill and boy did I feel it RIGHT AWAY! I could barely take down any water but it seemed to get better so I left the office and went on my happy way. They are starting a more aggressive fill schedule because patients were compalinging about it being so long between fills and them taking a year to get to their sweet spot. So my dr wants to see me for another fill in 3 weeks. My take on that is if this fill keeps up like it's been going, I won't be doing that fill in 3 weeks.
Last night I had coffee that stayed down, applesauce that did NOT stay down. One lick of the spoon and I was hurling for what felt like forever. This morning I had a sip of tea and back up it came. I'm SUPER DUPER tight right now. I'm sure that as I get more fills, the tighter in the morning I will be. So I'm on liquids only today, and have no plans to push it at all. I feel the constant need to burp but can't. Is this a overfill?
Is this my sweet spot? All I know is that I hope like hell it loosens enough for me to keep down mushies so I can avoid going back in for a unfill.

I get my son tonight and I'm so excited to see him. We have a 50/50 custody arrangement and I've missed my little man. I'm trying to find something fun for us to do tonight and tomorrow since the weather is sunny (but still cold).

I have no food to post since im not keeping even liquids down at this point, but I'm sure I'll have something to post again monday. Have a great weekend!

Love ya's!

Thursday, February 25, 2010

It's FILL day....

Hello there! Today at 230pm CST I have my fill. This will be fill #4. I currently have 7.5cc's in my 14 cc band. I'm hoping for a 2cc fill today. I had pretty great restriction the first few weeks of the last fill, then its loosened up some. I'm desperate to break this 270's plateau.

My BFF and I are roadtrippin a few hours west tonight to see Lady Antebellum and Tim McGraw as her bday present. I'm looking forward to the concert, but not driving 2 1/2 hours back at midnight. Oh well, the things we do for those we love right?

So I totally forgot that I had my fill today and had breakfast and my mid morning snack! Oops. I'm sucking water like crazy now trying to clear out my pouch for my fill today.

I hope everyone is having a great day, the sun in shining here in  St. Louis, even though it is butt-ass cold at like 8 degrees.

Love ya!

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Shout out to the creators of the band....

I have a NSV to share and it made me super thankful to the inventors of the band. I was in the elevator at work this morning and the woman with me was like"OMG, you are just melting away, honey whatever you are doing is working, you look fantastic!" :-) Well needless to say I was smiling like a fool and just said "Thank you". Now I could have gone into some long speal about the band and all that, but I could tell she wouldn't care really. I do care though. If it wasn't for this band that some people created to help addicted and lost folks like me, I'd still be on the spiral of death known as food addiction and compulsive overeating. So KUDOS to you peeps that made the band possible. You made my day today.

Food for today-

B-coffee, small slice of thin crust pizza-cold (in the car no less, lol)
S- RF string cheese
L-4 grilled shrimp, steamed broccoli, guts of baked potato
S-baked cheetos (YUMMMMMMMY!)
D-baked chicken and veggies
S-glass of FF skim milk and a few strawberries


I'm feeling good today. My clothes are a little loose and the looks I'm getting from people are making my confidence go up. If I look good at 272 I can't even IMAGINE what it will look or feel like at 200 even. Holy shit! :-)

Have a great day all. I love's ya!

Monday, February 22, 2010

Follow the yellow brick road....

Good Morning and Happy Monday to all of you beautiful people. I can't thank you enough for all of your support and love, it actually makes me tear up thinking about it and I have a "face" (makeup) on today so I'm going to skip the mushy stuff today so it doesn't run and have me looking like the Joker. Just please know I love you all and couldn't have done this without your support.

Okie dokie. So Friday was hard...Hellloooooo Captain Obvious. It was busy and stressful but it is over now. Thank GOD! Saturday was busy with unpacking and cleaning and stuff. I had Peyton friday night and saturday and it was wonderful to get that one on one time with him. His Dad picked him up at 5pm and I was sad to see him go but knew I would talk to him several times a day. I went out with friends and had a good time, attempted to sleep in Sunday (yeah right...8am is sleeping in for me) and spent the rainy Sunday being lazy and not really unpacking any more than I had on Friday. LOL

I left my scale at the house so I couldn't weigh in today yet. There is one here at work that I'm going to attempt to get on before I eat something, so I'll see what that says. I haven't been eating a lot this past week so I hope I see a loss.  EDITED TO ADD-I just weighed in and was at 272!! So a loss of 5 lbs this week from 277. I can't get my ticker up top to update but I'll keep trying.

My mom and I got healthy foods to make for dinners this week. No hamburger helper, spaghetti, burgers and fries. We got salmon, shrimp, tilapia, chicken breast, salad fixins and some lean turkey and ham lunchmeat. Here is my food for today...

B-Coffee w/ FF vanilla creamer
S-jennie-o turkey breast slices, string cheese
L-BBQ Beef with baked beans (abt 1 cups worth)
S-strawberries
D-shrimp, broccoli and a little mashed potato with sour cream


Work is calling so I can't catch up on your blogs right now, but I promise I will tonight ok?

I LOVE YOU'S!!!!!!! Have a great monday. HUGS

Friday, February 19, 2010

The worst day of my life

I apologize in advance for the negative tone of this non band related post.

I'm moving out today. My head is spinning, my heart is numb and my face is swollen. Swollen from tons and tons of tears. I know this is the right thing to do, but that knowledge doesn't make me feel better today. Our son has been clinging to me and asking over and over when I'm leaving. :-(
My husband has been my best friend for 8 years and I'm going to miss that a lot. I'm sure some of you are wondering why then am I leaving. There is more to a marriage than being friends, and it's hard to explain and honestly I don't want to. I also don't feel like I have to explain to anyone but him, which I have done.

I've had coffee today and some strawberries. There are no plans for lunch and mom made stew for dinner but who knows if i'll eat any. I will have internet at my moms as of tomorrow but wont probably post until my weigh in on Monday.

Thank you for all of your support, I promise to be more upbeat and get this blog back on track.
love ya's!

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

The Devil

These are the DEVIL! Oh soooooo cheesy and yummy and oooooh so not good for me.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Change

Hello blog family. My weigh in showed me at 272 yesterday, so that brings my total weight loss to 44 pounds. I won't be surprised if I either have a huge gain coming or a huge loss, it's how my body deals with drama.

I know this is a blog about my weight loss, but I'm a emotional eater and I sure as hell have emotional things happening right now, so I feel its a safe spot to mention it.

My husband and I are seperating. I'm moving out into my moms house this coming Friday the 19th. It's been hard emotionally and physically for me. We grew apart and the spark died and as sad as it is, it is what it is. It's been coming for awhile now and I couldn't go on the way it was anymore. He is my best friend and I hope that we can get back to that point in friendship, but right now he is angry, hurt and having fuel added to the fire by his guy friends. I understand they are on his side, but it takes two to tango and this didn't happen all on my shoulders, so I kinda wish they would realize that and not try to be so harsh about it. He and I are trying to have a amicable seperation and deal with things in a adult way, and to have immature people being rude about me and egging him on isn't helping. :::SIGH:::
I spent all day yesterday packing my things. Actually what I did was walk room to room crying my eyes out. This hurts me too, a LOT. To pack up my life from the last eight years into boxes, to see how bare the walls are and see it all go into boxes hurt my heart. I'm going to miss the comfort of being there, of our friendship. So I cried all damn day and packed as much as I could. The rest will have to wait till this friday when I have another day off. We are working on custody arrangements of our little boy who is almost 4years old. That's going to be interesting, but I know without a shadow of a doubt that we can be civil about him because NO ONE can ever say we arent great parents to him.

I'm drained and border between wanting to binge eat and not wanting to eat at all. I'm going to read all of your happy blogs now to bring up my spirits and may not post much this week, but I am with you all.

I love you's :)

Thursday, February 11, 2010

It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood

Hello my lovelys. I've missed you all :) I've been busy at work and at home, there are a lot of changes happening in my personal life that have kept me from the computer lately. But I'm here now with a tiny update.

My scale isn't moving in either direction. I guess that's a good thing right now. I've always been a stress eater and since I can't do it to the capacity I was pre-band, I'm finding myself going for slider foods for comfort. Mashed potatoes with cheese, potato chips, brownies etc.
I'm going to call the psych i saw for my pre-op exam and see about monthly sessions with her to work on this head hunger and the addiction to the bad foods. :::sigh:::

Here is my food for today, then I need to sign off and actually get some work done.

B-Coffee
S-total raisin bran w/ milk
L-garden salad w/ salmon and balsalmic vinnegrette
D-crockpot chicken w/ cheese and sour cream (no extra carbs)

Love ya's!

Monday, February 8, 2010

My Bucket List

Here is my Bucket List. 50 things I want to do before I die. Post yours so we can see.

Ramona’s Bucket List








1. Visit Ireland & Scotland

2. sing on a major stage-the Muny or Fox

3. go parasailing

4. do a sexy photo shoot

5. buy a brand new car

6. take Peyton to Disneyworld

7. visit NYC, see a Broadway show

8. Visit as many states as possible

9. get more into Photography

10. read the top 100 books of all time

11. read the bible

12. conquer my fear of water where I cant see the bottom

13. learn how to dance

14. Run a marathon

15. swim with dolphins

16. learn another language

17. do a cartwheel

18. go horseback riding

19. knit a scarf/blanket

20. have a second baby

21. take cake decorating classes

22. go rock climbing

23. record a cd with my BFF

24. serve a meal at a homeless shelter

25. finish my sons baby scrapbook

26. print all the pictures from the day Peyton was born till the present and make a album

27. research my family tree and make one

28. have a set brunch day with my family

29. own a Burberry purse

30. try a new food

31. pay off my student loans

32. take cooking classes

33. become proficient at Excel

34. write a will and letters to my family

35. blog-(began 2009 & ongoing)

36. meet someone famous and get a picture with them

37. get rid of my past debt

38. visit the Grand Canyon

39. reach my goal weight

40. visit the Sydney Opera House

41. start a business with my family

42. See a Indianapolis Colts game in Indy

43. See as many music concerts as possible

44. Make amends with my father

45. grow and not kill a flower garden

46. help someone change their life

47. stay away from “addictive” things-soda, excessive alcohol etc.

48. be honest no matter the consequences

49. Be happy with who I am

50. Pay it forward

Where did my band go???

I think I lost it yesterday. My band, my restriction, my control. Holy shit people. You have no idea. I guess compared to before the band I didnt eat that much, but seriously? I ate ALL...DAY...LONG. It was a bite here and a bite there but it was so much more than I needed. Nothing got stuck, not even the pasta or french fries. Here is what I ate from noon to 9pm yesterday.

bowl of cream cheese dip and chips
cheese and crackers
chicken wings
mostacolli
french fries
dump cake
cheeseball and crackers
chili
cookies
wine
milk

Can we all go OMG together?? I knew we could. I was at a Superbowl party with my son at my sisters house and there were TONS of people there. We all just picked at the food each time we walked thru the kitchen. Grazing in the most intense sense of the word. Not only did I spend a hour in the bathroom this morning (my intestines were really pissed at me) but I also did my weigh in.

5lbs gain. Now I don't know how acurate that is because saturday I was down 2 lbs. I doubt its possible to gain 7 lbs in one day so I may do my weigh in officially tomorrow to let yesterdays food get thru me. I dunno. Thoughts?

I'm at work and needing to get busy. I love you all. If you see my band or restriction please ship it back to me ASAP ok?

Love ya's

Thursday, February 4, 2010

I am now a pro at PB'ing

As gross as it sounds, I can tell when I am going to and I'm getting great at taking care of it in 3 heaves or less. LOL. Today at lunch I had fajitas with my mom and ate a small piece of steak. Well it got stuck. I sat there for about 3 minutes with my mouth full of spit, hoping it would move on its own. Nope, it was lodged in there. Even a few months ago I would have panicked and gotten all upset. Nope again. I made my way quietly to the bathroom and mimiced heaving 3 times and the little sucker popped out and plopped into the toilet. Ahhhhh...instant relief. Not to mention instant hunger. I washed up and went back to my lunch. My mom just stared at me when I sat down. She was expecting me to be all upset and not into my food. Nope for a 3rd time people. I was calm and hungry. Crisis averted. Woohoo!

Here is my lunch. Shrimp, grilled chicken and grilled pork with sour cream and guacamole. Can we all say YUMMO together?? I knew we could.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Tender

I'm not going to post much today. I'm tender today. My feelings were hurt yesterday and between crying myself to sleep and sleeping like shit, i'm not really in the mood to chat much but I do want to post my food. I can tell I need to drink more water because my lower back hurts, which is signs of me getting a kidney infection. Ugh.
Love you all. I'll be back to my happy self tomorrow.


Today




B-coffee

S-pretzles

L-chicken salad, string cheese, peaches(?)

S-green grapes

D-ham n beans, cornbread

S-skim milk

Here's lunch...

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Apparently my vagina is making a impact....

Happy Tuesday my lovely followers. By the title of my post, some of you are prolly scratching your head. Well here it goes.
Remember last week when I was excited that during my weigh in that I could look at my feet and see my va-jay-jay? Well to us bandsters, we understand this. Well, my husband and his guy friends read my blog, which I was unaware of, and they were talking about me blogging about my vagina. So last night we are in WalMart and husband says" Hey, I talked to "Guy" and hesaid heread about your vagina on your blog, so I called "other guy" and asked him if he read about your vagina too" I was kinda mortified. I mean, I know people read my blog, but to have the husband and his guy friends talking so flippantly about my jay-jay disturbed me. So if any of you are reading this, please don't talk about my private stuff in public. If it continues I'll have to block any non-registered readers. This is my place to vent and share. If you are happy for my weight loss great, if you are reading along for shits and giggles and to pick apart my life, then don't bother.  The End.

Here is my food today. I'm trying something new, only bringing 2 snacks and lunch and not eating anything else, no matter what. Also I'm planning my dinners in advance and not deviating from it. This kind of structure really helps me. Plus I'm a control freak, so there ya go. LOL

B-coffee w/ pumpkin spice creamer
S-RF wheat thins
L-low carb wheat tortilla w/ thin cut ham and a string cheese, peach slices in natural juice
S-large red apple
D-chicken salad, small handful of pretzles
S-LF Skim chocolate milk


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
We are doing Biggest Loser here at work and my weigh in was today. It said I was down 1.5 this week, but my home scale said down 4 lbs since last monday. Well fuck.

I got my nails DID last night and they look cute. I'll edit this post with a cute pic here in a minute.
Gotta get to work, they do pay me to work right? LOL


Love ya's!

Monday, February 1, 2010

Well grrrrr...

Hi there everyone. I'm in a good mood again today, but a little miffed about my damn scale. I have started weighing everyday so I can gauge my food and cut the carbs a little if I notice a gain. So last night I wondered how I was doing and weighed in at 274 even. Ok, no loss but no gain. I'll take it. This morning, um....no. It showed 276.6. I did not gain 2.6 lbs overnight and I didnt eat or drink after I weighed either.
Pfffftttttt.

Not much else going on today. I'm going to be splurging on myself with some tax money and will be sure to post any and all pics of my shopping adventures.

Food for today:

B-coffee w/ sweet n low, one oatmeal raisin cookie
S-coffee
L-salmon, small salad w/ lite ranch
S-sourdough pretzle nuggets.
D-turkey and cheese rollups, baked chips
S-FF chocolate milk